NovemberRose

  How I’m Learning to Parent my “Spirited” RAD Child             As a baby and toddler my son threw intense tantrums that would last hours. This was my first child and I had zero experience with children before he was born. I knew babies cried and toddlers throw tantrums and even though it all seemed extreme to me I thought well maybe it’s normal and he will outgrow it. So I did what all the books said to do. I didn’t give in to what he wanted when he threw them. I ignored him and went about my business. Eventually he would scream himself to sleep.             However, as he got older, the tantrums didn’t stop. Instead they turned into full blown angry rages. He was just so so angry at the world it seemed. It was like he thought if he screamed and hollered and hit and kicked and bit and scratched he could push me and the world away from him and be alone.   ...

 I have been struggling with my faith and beliefs for a long time now. It's been many years since I've really felt the Holy Spirit inside me or felt like I had a connection to God. I've gone to church and prayed or at least said the words to pray. I've been reading Christian books and devotions. But nothing...its like that part of me is just dead...or asleep? I used to be so deeply moved by the Spirit. I was so close to God. So I've been thinking I'm still like one of the baby Christians still needing milk, not yet able to eat meat. I've looked at others and thought I wish I could be like them. They are so strong and their belief and faith is so good.  Recently, very very recently, I began to do my daily quiet time a bit differently. Instead of reading a Christian book or a daily devotion and trying to figure out how it concerned me, I thought maybe I should actually read the Bible. But when I open the Bible its like a foreign language. It's boring. I do...

"John and the Pharisees" James Tissot  I may attend church and even outwardly look like a good Christian person but that does not mean it does me any good if it does not penetrate into my soul and change me on the inside. If I say I am sorry but I keep doing the thing I say I am sorry for it makes no difference. I must say I am sorry and then stop and turn around and head the opposite direction from that sin. God sees the real distorted and ugly me that lies beneath the mask I wear for others. Right now we are all mixed up in the church. Real Christians with fake Christians. But in the end God will separate us and the real Christians will be brought to heaven while the fake Christians will burn forever. Heavenly Father, Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come. With all creation I sing praise to the King of Kings. You are my everything and I will adore you. I confess I am not the perfect innocent girl so many think I am. Underneath t...

Preston is so depressed and angry and stressed out and exhausted. I can help by maybe talking to Angie/Craig about backing off some at work and explaining what is happening with us at home? Also I have got to step up and help more. I need to keep the house clean so he doesn't have to do so much and be stressed about that along with everything else. I also need to really focus on working with the boys...both on keeping them busy and on behavior management. I need to focus on loving on him and on building relationships to strengthen our family bond with each other. I need to pray and do devotions and Bible reading with the boys so he can hear it too as well as staying calm myself and trusting in God for everything. He could have daddy son dates where he just spends time one on one with the boys as well as the two of us spending time alone. I need to really start focusing on self-care and sleep and eating and exercising. I cannot change the past but I can learn to confront and heal ...